Blog Final Project

For my final class project I will be making a shadow puppet performance based off of my blog post "The Box Monster." I have written the script and have checked out several informative books on puppetry and found puppetry websites that have been very helpful to me. I will be making shadow puppets representing me and my roommate as well as monstrous shapes and inanimate objects like cars and of course, the box. I will film the performance and put it up on youtube.

Blog Awards!

Today's the day-Blog Award's for my English 455 Living Writers class are here! I have lovedlearning about and interacting with each other through our blogs. Here's my personal votes right now:

Best personal blog: Jack's Some trans lady   Jack shares with us his experience as a transgendered woman. This is the most honest and inspiring blog I think I have ever encountered. It is hard enough for a person to confess to one's wrongdoings in the first place, but Jack does it wholeheartedly with immense apology throughout his posts. She also shares her fears/struggles in the present and future. I also give Jack the most improved award for The The Bad Brew Review in which Jack gives us reviews of bad, cheap alcoholic drinks with humorous stories involving his experience drinking them. Jack's honesty and passion in his past blog comes through loud and clear.

Best design/visual: Charity's Six and a writer. This blog stuck out to me because it is different, visually, from all my other classmates' blogs.Charity's homepage strays from the typical  layout with a simple title at the top and one after another blog post down as you scroll down the page. Instead we see just a sample of the past three texts that Charity has posted including a picture, title, and a little excerpt into what we are about to read. No scrolling! All of her posts are very clean and crisp with wonderful vintage family photos.

Best hobby/specific blog: Kristina's Hyperderby. This blog manages to be extremely fun and exciting as well as informative and captivating at the same time. I knew pretty much nothing about roller derby except, of course from Ellen Page's movie "Whip It". I did love this movie, though so of course I knew I would enjoy learning about Kristina's experience with the sport. She includes informative pictures and videos about roller derby and tells her about her favorite players, teams, and aspects of the game itself.

Most Interactive Blog: Kacie's Kinship. I have been following Kacie's blog since the very beginning and always love reading her posts! Although I can't relate to her on a family/kinship level, I always feel fully engaged following her on her family missions to the supermarket, holiday excursions, and even just when she is at home caring for the young ones. She includes adorable photos of her nephews who are constantly causing trouble! Normally I'm not a huge fan of chaos causing kids but Kacie makes it hard for me to not be!

Most likely to succeed: Natalie's My Cat Thinks I'm Funny. This blog has been a class favorite throughout the entire quarter with good reason. Her posts never fail to crack me up. Her quirky and slightly snarky voice which she uses to comment on awkward and sometimes disturbing incidents makes for hilarious topic discussions. She talks about those things that all young adults thinks and wonders about but refuses to talk about. Probably not everyone can relate, but I guarantee everyone will love Natalie's blog.

Profession Update

This past weekend I went home to visit my family and more importantly get my sleeping pills back!  (My friend Carlena happened to be coming home from Idaho where I left the drugs so she transported them with her.)  These past two nights of sleep have been amazing-full of odd dreams that I only slightly remember. Last night my dream-self was in a tree house watching a Carebear performance staged by young children.

I arrived Saturday night. A dinner of Brazilian beef stew and rice and broccoli was all set for me, the parents, and older brother Alex. Every time I come home, my dad has a new brilliant career idea for me. Since I didn't choose a business degree like him, I must make him proud and be successful in another completely obscure way.

Last Summer, my dad suggested that I take flying lessons and become a pilot. A couple months ago he enthusiastically showed me a brochure for Mime School in France: "You'd be great at this, whaddaya say??" as he pointed to the chalked up 20-something-year-old dressed in black and red. I took drama in high school for two days and then dropped out because of a a mime exercise. We were supposed to act as angry mimes, trying to escape from an invisible box that we were trapped in. One student claimed to have escaped by using the ring of an invisible binder to carve her way out.

Last Saturday my dad left the dinner table shrieking and came back with a magazine. A black sharpie outlined an ad for Diamond school.  Whether it was for making jewels, studying their structure or just admiring their delicacy and beauty, I don't know. I asked him why he doesn't sign up himself and he told me he would if I would. I said I think I'll pass in this lifetime but I found the ad on my pillow that night.

Look out, this could be me in 10 years:

Mime/Pilot/Diamond Extraordinaire

Banana Man

Apologies for not posting for a while! It has been a very busy couple of weeks!  Last weekend I visited my two good friends Carlena and Hannah at their school in Idaho and upon returning I realized that I must have forgotten my sleeping pills at their place. And yes while this makes for funny stories, I have been quite out of it for the past week.

 I think i've gotten a total of 6-ish hours since Monday. My eyes are drooping and I find myself in a constant state of confusion. My friends look at me weird and ask me if I'm okay. I often start saying something and then stop half way through and can't finish. I try so hard to grab onto any words floating around me that will make some sense, but then I just start stuttering and sound like I have Tourette Syndrome. This happened in class the other day. I almost died it was so embarrassing.

Yesterday I wake up super late for class, rush to get ready, grab a bruised banana, and leave the house. I put the banana in the side mesh pocket of my backpack and plead to it not to fall out. I have two minutes to rush down the street to catch the bus. I'm not one of those people who worry about looking or smelling good/decent for class so I start sprinting  across the empty street and down the hill. I feel the banana fall out somewhere along the way, but I don't care. Never mind that I always wake up super overheated and break out in pouring sweat if I don't drink water as soon as I get up. I spot the line of people and look to the right-the bus is on it's way, I can do this!

I'm so focused at this point and I don't even flinch at the male shouts I hear from behind. But then slowly, a biker with a green alligator helmet slowly approaches on my right and I'm wondering who dares disturb my concentration when I see a yellow fruit dangling from his hand. He had my banana! This nice biker must have reached down out of his seat, picked up my dirty banana, and delivered it to me personally! I thanked him profusely as he rode off with a smile and thought to myself that that is the kind of guy that should rule the world.

Wherever you are, Bananaman, I honor you with my utmost gratitude and respect! I hope we meet again.

Blogging As Literature?

Question: Can online writing be considered literature?

Yes, I believe so. But in order to answer this question, it is important that we first define what literature is-and this is tricky. Well, it's the stuff in books, right? I am not a genius nor do i think there is one sole definition, so I will list several aspects that can be said about a piece literature:

1. It is regarded highly and shared for that reason.

2. It represents and often comments on society or a certain group as a whole.

3. It is artistic or creative.

4. It presents original style and craft.

5. It brings emotions that often resonate with the reader. 

Now, whose to say that online fails to produce any of these aspects? I say fig neuton fooey, I've read and viewed plenty of online works that manages to contain all of these elements! If we push online writing aside, never recognizing it for it's worth, then we are depriving ourselves of thousands of fascinating and original works. 

Blogs, especially, are a place where the most original words are said. Even if the writer does not speak in a very sophisticated manner and puts commas in unnecessary places, he or she has the ability to draw us to to his or her own world with words, videos, links, and so much more (I have found that some of my best writing comes when I am more relaxed and do not try to sound like a genius). I have laughed, cried, and fell off my chair from reading online content-how much more emotional can I get? 

I would like to share with you a couple of blogs that I can easily compare with a great piece of book literature. 

The first is the author of a blog called "Kacie's Kinship". Kacie shares with us her hectic, but wonderful life which includes taking care of her three crazy, young nieces. This blog may intrigue me more than some well recognized books of the past. Kacie speaks to her audience on a personal level, invited us to share her experiences along with her. She takes us along on her holidays, trips to the grocery store, family fiascos, and to play with her adorable puppy dog. She writes in a friendly and fun tone, with full paragraph structures and includes tons of pictures complete with side notes. At one point, she shares with us her hectic trip to the grocery store with the three boys, attempting to jump out of shopping carts. It's hilarious, definitely causing me laughing-I myself remember doing the same as a child! Although a personal blog, Kasie manages to make her blog in a creative way-it almost has the feel like she is constantly on a mission-which makes everyone want to be part of it! Who doesn't want to be a ninja assassin or turtle?? Without openly saying it, Kacie is commenting on the hectic life that we as large, crazy families often have, especially kinship families that hers.

The blog Bluebird Vintage has a similar quality in Kacie's in that it draws readers into her personal life. It follows the life of a fashionable mother of three adorable kids and husband.  She uses many professional looking photos, which she takes herself, to document her family. The pictures and her wording together make her life seem very neat, put together, and extremely fashionable. She has individual sections to click on at the top of her blog, making it easy for the reader to navigate. In one full section she shares photos of the lunches-bento box style-that she makes for her children. They always look so perfect! Another includes adorable photos of her wedding. There is no question that her work is creative and original (in her blog, photographs, clothing, lunch making, etc.) Although she appears perfect, she makes sure to share with us that her life is not all that put together as it seems. Every single one of her posts make me go, "awwww". This blog has a strong following with hundreds of followers who feel warm and hopeful after viewing her site. This blog shows us the positives of a loving, creative family like her own.

Both of these blogs have most if not all qualities I have listed above. They draw emotions, are widely shared,    are original and creative, and comment on their families and families as a whole. Literature, they are! In my personal blog I aim to share my comedic, insomniatic influenced occurrences and make you laugh. I just recently posted about the night when I put off taking my sleeping pill and ended up flailing about in a cardboard box screeching. I even included a drawing of mine made in paint of me in a box.  Like these past two blogs I hope that my readers feel emotion, see that I am commenting on those crazies like me with sleeping issues, share my blog with others, and see my creativity come through. (Just as any book would.)

The box monster

I thought I was getting better about deciphering the real world from the dream world recently, but some recent occurrences have led me to a realization: I will always be flailing between the two like a one eyed crow.

#1: This past Tuesday I was longing for something insomniatically weird to happen in my life. So I purposely did not start my homework until midnight to prolong the odd time of being tired but not being able to sleep. This time often leads me into the state of being over tired, also called the point of no return. At this time my vision gets blurry, things start dancing, I laugh at everything, and feel like my body is made out of pudding.

Example of what this looks like: 

Free Shipping!

That night my roommate awoke at the noise of what she described as "a rabid dog- on drugs". She came out of her room to find me outside of her room crouching in a cardboard box screeching. I only partially remember doing this.

The next morning was just as weird. At 10 am was driving to Starbucks to get my coffee fix and came to a red light. Swayed by the harmonious stylings of Michael Buble, I managed to completely zone out, staring at the dashboard. When I came to, I looked up and I swear to you the traffic light was completely gone! I was freaking out hard core because, HELLO, who's going to tell me when to go? I got that feeling like when someone scares you and your body gets all hot and your fingers instantly begin sweating. Would I be sitting there forever, until my flesh molded off and my bones began to smell of liver and onions?

Finally after several shakes of the head and five slaps to the face the stop light was back. Thank goddddddd. I would live.

I manged to get to my friend's house in one piece and we feasted. I began to regain my normality-the twitching subsided and things were dancing much less.

On the way home I was fist pumping to the radio and I smiled at a urinating dog on the side of the road. Reminding myself that I was driving, I turned my head back to the road. And NOW there's a frickin' brick wall ahead IN THE ROAD just kickin' it.

"Don't mind me, just kickin' it."

"I dam well will mind you, you evil brick wall of doom!" I told it, but it just kept sitting there, mocking me like a little circus monkey.

I decided to slow down and wait for another car to come. Let's see how they cope. But when a car did come, the dumb wall decided to take a hike! Well, fine. Your ugly and look like a dried up piece of children's play-dough anyway. Your outta here.

Baby Monkey

this is a MUST see!

The Butt Scoot

The first thing that my mother whispers to me when I come downstairsin the morning is "Alison...are you wearing shoes...?"  I was not. A putrid odor wafts into my nostrils as my mother notifies me that our dog Ollie needs his anal glands "expressed".

I look down and see the poodle, his front paws resting in between his hind legs. He has that shameful look on his face that lets me know he has just done something grossly disturbing. The butt scoot.

In case you don't know, when a dog's anal sac is too full he becomes uncomfortable and drags his butt across the floor in an attempt to empty them. Poor, backed up Ollie.

My mother called the local vet while I was eating breakfast (she had already cleaned up the mess) and Ollie was expressed later that day. Anal sac all empty now! He kind of still smells, but this may be due to something else. He's a rather dirty animal.

Hey guys what's up?

Shame.

I'll just be going now...

Sleeeeep

My mom sent in Tinkerbell to wake me up...

Shout out to English 455

Shout out to my classmates, English 455 class! Here's just a few of their wonderful work

1. Hyperderby
This blog follows a young woman through her adventures on a roller derby team in Bellingham, The Cog Blockers. The author of this blog is very honest and inspiring. She gives us personal accounts of her past experiences as a dancer and how she got to where she is today. I also used to want to become a professional dancer, but turned towards sports instead. In one post, she shares with us her food and exercise goals. She makes me feel a little better about eating 3 lbs ish of chocolate every day!

2. My Cat Thinks I'm funny
This post is absolutely HILARIOUS
A college student shares her experiences and tips with us that she has learned in her recent years. She has a open, sarcastic voice that is very easy to relate to. You'll say "Oh my gosh, I totally know what she's talking about" for EVERY post! She also has an adorable orange kitten that she adopted (to match her ginger hair, she says). I stick my cats in my shirts just like her!

3. Sixty-six places I'll never see

This is a blog about the fictional places is stories which the author wishes to travel to. Her latest post describes the wonderful "Baba Yaga's hut", fairy godmother who eats children! Can it get any better than that? I think I'll be going with her on this adventure. I LOVE reading and writing about creepy fictional things! She also includes what brings her to find new fictional places to visit. For example, the event of her friend moving brought about the wonderful "Baba Yaga" post. I can't wait to read more!

Texts from the Ulies

Because my parents don't have any friends really, except the cats and dog, they feel the need to update me on every event of the day back at home. I get to hear about the highlights, such as when our dog Ollie puked up a piece of my dad's chewed sock. Here are some exciting texts that I have received in the last couple weeks:

Dad

Me

Dad   

__________________________________________

Mom

Me

Mom

Happy Friday

Happy Friday! It has been a long week, but this weekend I am going home to see my family-so excited! My parents, older brother Alex, miniature poodle, 3 legged cat, 4 legged cat, and guinea pig will be there. Not to mention one one my best friends Carlena who is coming home from the University of Idaho for the weekend as well. I have known Carlena since the young days in Sunday School at our temple in Bellevue. While the other students sat around in a circle singing to the guitar stylings of Rabbi Murel's daughter, we would sneak of to the playground and throw woodchips at younger children.

Carlena and I ended up in the same 3rd grade portable together at elementary school. We spent the year making funny faces at each other across the room (we were banned from ever sitting next to each other the second day of class) and meeting "secretly" in the girl's bathroom. One time the teacher found us wrapping the toilet in toilet paper and made us call our parents. My dad responded, "Uh...well, don't do it again."

We had even more fun committing mischievous crimes at Carlena's house, just a two minute drive from my place. One day they had mechanic over to fix their sink. As the larger than normal man bent down, he exposed nearly half of his behind. Carlena and I looked at each other with raised eyebrows and exploded into a fit of laughter. Her mother gave us a look, but we could tell she was holding back a smile.

A couple of hours later Carlena and I came up with a plan to get back at the large man for exposing our virgin eyes to his filthy butt crack. When Carlena's mom was gone from the kitchen, we approached the man. We politely told him that we were making some toast and butter and quickly grabbed the butter from the fridge. Forget the bread. Then we snuck outside to where the man's truck was, holding back laughter. We broke of pieces of butter from the stick and began smearing them on the inside of the door handle.

We ran inside and waiting by the window from above. When he saw him finally exit the house we were hysterical, already rolling into walls laughing. We watched as he reached for the handle and pulled back in surprise. He tried to twist his body in a way so he could see what slimy substance it was that was making his hands all oily and wet, but his head kept bumping against the door of the truck. He eventually gave up and just wiped his hands on the back of his trousers, got in the truck, and drove away. We waved goodbye from the window thinking we were so clever, which we were.

We'll see what kind of trouble we get into this time muahahah!

Me and Carlena in Seattle!

Me and Carlena at the Mercer Island Beach Club for a barbeque with our families!

I do not like mushrooms.

I really do not like mushrooms. I think that they are disgusting in both taste and looks. They have the texture of a human ear. If I see you eating a mushroom, this is how you will look to me:

 I'd rather not have to see you like this, for everyone's sake. Do yourself a favor and avoid mushrooms.

I will never stop loving Disney

As a follow up to my discussion on the Disney Channel I would like to mention that I watched Heavy Weights last night, another masterpiece by channel 41! Pretty much everyone is fat at Camp Hope and rolls in melted chocolate and swims. Then some hardcore workout enthusiast comes and actually tries to help the boys lose weight, but they perform mutiny and take him down-they really don't like physical activity. I wanted to go to Camp Hope so bad! I still do.

Because we taped it right from the channel, we got to see the awesome old school commercials! I got to watch THE PROUD FAMILY THEME SONG/MUSIC VIDEO OVER AND OVER AGAIN!!!!! I was freaking out. I jumped on the couch and rewinding it again and again-I still knew ALL THE WORDS!!! I cried a little bit, I have to admit. This is a huge feat! Still got that Zoog Disney inside of me.

Embrace those weird days, please.

Because I stayed up until 3 a.m. last night/this morning working on my blog I was feeling a little loopy all day. You know those kinds of days where everything, even the dumbest things, seem hilarious and your just so out of it?

The weirdness began with an odd dream, of course. When I woke up I actually thought that I was at my house with my family on Mercer Island and an angry mob was invading us. In my dream, there was a family that had moved into our pool and would not leave. No, I don't have a pool at home, but this did not seem to faze me. Also, our backyard was filled with long exquisite tables filled with a plethora of different types of foods. There were rolls, ten story high cakes, and pimento stuffed olives. At this point I knew something was off because my backyard is in actuality a wad of dead grass with dog feces and a broken badminton net. 

Anyway, this family decided that they would move into our non-existent pool that was emptied during the winter. They put a tarp over it and called it home. I was mad at them for living in our backyard without permission and they also had a major attitude.

But I grew to like them because they reminded me of The Proud Family from Disney Channel.   I told them this and they were very flattered! They started singing The Proud Family theme song and I was hooked! They were pro! I decided at that point that it was okay that they stay.

                                Clearly the Proud Family theme song brings peace and justice and happiness.

There's suga'mama in pink with Puff doin her thing

Remember the good ol' days of Disney Channel with shows like The Proud Family, Smart Guy, Even Stevens, Lizzie Mcquire, Jersey, etc? EVERYONE watched and talked about these shows, it was the cool thing to do! If you watched Disney Channel you were automatically IN. Your parents watched it and loved it too! Even your old Grandma Martha could watch with you without feeling the need to reminisce on the good ol' days when there was no T.V. and she knitted a wool sock to stay warm in the Winter instead.  Even if your saying "b.s. those shows were as lame as sour milk" you obviously didn't hate them that much because I know that you watched them.

I think what we all could benefit from is a "Retro Disney Channel" where all of the old school cool shows play all day and all night long. The world would just be a much better place, I think.

Okay, so I intended to continue on with my odd day, but I let my Disney Channel impulse take over so I won't make you read much farther. I just also want to share a video that we started to watch in my Young Adult Lit. Class. We've been reading books in which confused male teenagers rebel against society. So far we've read Catcher in the Rye by J.D. Salinger, The Outsiders by S.E. Hinton and The Chocolate War by Robert Cormier. I recommend all of these books by the way!

This film Over The Edge starring Matt Dillon was released in 1979 and was apparently inspired by true events of teen rebellion that occurred during the 70's. Here's just a preview of it:

I know, amazing. This  made me want to go back and live during the 70's. I couldn't stop smiling while we watched it. My eyes were twitching and the back of my knees got a little sweaty. (Sorry if the quality is not that good, but I think you can find the full version on youtube like I will be doing.)I recommend putting a towel or something in your mouth to keep you from biting your tongue off...yes, it's THAT good. 

Happy Tuesday!

Giant Worm Attacks

I had this dream a while ago, at least a week ago, but I still feel the need to share it with you. I don't remember the whole thing but I do remember that I was being chased around my house by huge monster worms that looked kind of like this:

So I take off and start booking it all over my neighborhood past the rhododendrons, past old Mr. Engleberg shaping his shrubs and past little kids on bicycles, but the worms are only after me of course so they paid no attention to the other fresh meat that had probably just eaten a whole pan of bagel bites and chocolate cake.

I make it back to my house and turn around and the worms are gone at last! I step up on my porch in victory, but then I start to feel a tickle in my throat and something making its way up and out of my mouth...

I begin gagging up one of the live monster worms so I throw my hands at my mouth and start pulling at it with all of my strength, but it just keeps coming. If you've ever seen the Ring, it was like that scene where Samara starts coughing up some electric wire and keeps pulling at it until there's like ten feet of wire coiled up at her feet.

Luckily my dad pops up out of nowhere with a Samurai sword and starts wacking at the worm. He manages to get a decent size chunk of the monster's head thanks to his recently developed pro Samurai skills!

So down went the huge worm. It's little creeper feelers shriveled up and it's guts and blood launched into the air and onto our indestructible bodies. I was safe at last!

Here are some real life photos that proves father Big T's force:

Big T conquering a jungle

Big T sharing his skills with me

The whole clan. Big T stands strong in the center.

Welcome to my fantastic world

You know that one really bizarre dream that you had that other night? The one where that oversized poodle/crow was chasing you while you were holding a baby child but your legs wouldn't move? And then a large burger on the side of the road tripped you and the baby is screaming and your doomed.

Maybe this is far off from your dreams, but this is similar to what happens every night after I take my 50 milligrams tablet of Trazodone for insomnia.

Before I started taking this wonderful medicine my junior year of high school at Mercer Island I would get roughly 1-3 hours over the course of one night. It was common for me to go downstairs at 3 o clock in the morning and stack our food cans in pyramids or alphabetize our magazines.

 

 

Pre-Traz

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

With bags under my eyes every day, my mother told me that I looked like a haggard old lady. I was She dragged me to the doctor. That genius gave me my best friend.

Now I get 8+ hours AND enjoy bizarre amazing dreams. AND I almost always remember them in the morning.

This is a picture of me now, happy, with my friend and medication Traz:

Traz, I love you